Right Minded Online

Speaker Campfield has some jokes up on his site. Here’s my favorite: “The economy is so bad: Even people who have nothing to do with the Obama administration aren’t paying their taxes.”

That’s a good one, Camper.

Watch as Steve Beatty joins LT Kevin Davis on a ride in an F/A-18. This is absolutely hilarious. Of course, I’d handle the ride about as well as Mr. Beatty did.

State Representative Stacey Campfield, in a moment of weakness, confesses that everything his liberal friends — he has liberal friends? — warned him about if he didn’t vote for Barack Obama has indeed come to pass.

Camp4u: Joke of the week (They were right).

Give these guys a perfect “10″ for originality.

If you listen only to the mainstream press, you would think that only Republicans are technologically-challenged. Well, it appears that the human gaffe machine, Joe Biden, doesn’t know his way around cyberspace very well, either.

Vice President Joe Biden, tasked with overseeing the $787 billion stimulus package, has been having a little trouble with his “numbers.”

During an interview on CBS’ “Early Show” on Wednesday, Biden told viewers to check out a government-run Web site tracking stimulus spending, but admitted he was embarrassed because he couldn’t remember the site’s “number.”

Biden Asks for Web Site’s ‘Number’ – First 100 Days of Presidency – Politics FOXNews.com.

There’s probably no one in America enjoying life more right now than George W. Bush.

Former President George W. Bush has visited a Dallas hardware store that earlier this month made him a lighthearted offer to work as a greeter.

Andrea Bond, a manager at Elliott’s Hardware, says Bush walked into the store Saturday and quipped: “I’m looking for a job.”

Bush Visits Store That Offered Him Job.

This is absolutely hilarious.

I needed a laugh after yesterday’s Italian job in the Tennessee House. Terry Frank provides it.

terryfrank.net » RINO Hunting: Year Round, No Limit.

You’re walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you.

You are carrying a 40 caliber Glock, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?

Democrat’s Answer:

Well, that’s not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Does the Glock have an appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children? Is it possible he’d be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? Should I call 9-1-1? Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day, and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior. This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus.

Republican’s Answer:

BANG!

Southerner’s Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click. (Sounds of reloading)

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click.

Daughter: “Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?”

Son: “Can I shoot the next one!”

Wife: “You’re not takin’ that to the taxidermist!”

Good humor has an element of truth, which is why this video is so funny.

Here’s the trailer to the upcoming film An American Carol in which a fictitious Michael Moore gets slapped about a bit from a few American heroes. This is just plain funny.

At one of our baseball games the other night, a younger sibling of one of our players brought a stuffed frog that resembled the dancing, singing frog in one of those Merry Meoldies cartoons that we watched when we were growing up. My friend dug it up on YouTube, and I finally got around to watcing it yesterday. I had forgotten just how good some of those old cartoons really were.

I’ve been taking my dog, Benji, a few places in the car with me lately, during which time I usually listen to a Rush Limbaugh podcast. Since I began exposing Benji to Rush, I’ve noticed that he has become better behaved, more self-reliant, has stopped demanding free vet care, and growls at anyone who resembles Hillary Clinton.

Dear Senator Harkin,

As a native Iowan and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the Department of Homeland Security in and effort to determine the process for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.

My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to illegal alien stems from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate and for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill’s provisions is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for five years, all I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the last five years. I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone figures it out.

Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes every year so I’m excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield and excellent result for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.

Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local emergency room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped paying premiums for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could save almost $10,000 a year.

Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter would receive preferential treatment relative to her law school applications, as well as “in state” tuition rates for many colleges throughout the United States for my son.

Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden of renewing my driver’s license and making those burdensome car insurance premiums. This is very important to me given that I still have college age children driving my car.

If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal [retroactively if possible] and copies of the necessary forms, I would be most appreciative. Thank you for your assistance.

Your Loyal Constituent,
Donald Ruppert
Burlington, IA