Leading off is the Right Minded Quote of the Year. It comes from the Maha Rushie himself, Rush Limbaugh, for this gem: “To be a liberal you have to think it’s a religion. You have to accept all this stuff on faith because factual analysis destroys it. So we need separation of liberalism and state as part of separation of church and state.”
The Right Minded Bad Timing Award goes without contest to Al Gore. On January 15, Al was in New York City to give a speech on global warming. It was the coldest day in the city in more than a decade. Wind chills in parts of New England plunged to 100 degrees below zero. Gore explained “The extreme conditions are actually the end result of the planet warming. The Bush policies are leading to weather extremes.” Gore’s claim that global warming produces extreme cold also lands the former Vice-President into a tie with the movie “The Day After Tomorrow” for the Right Minded Weird Science Award.
Al Gore earns his third trophy by taking the Right Minded Kiss of Death Award. On December 9, 2003, Gore endorsed then-frontrunner Howard Dean for the Democratic nomination for President. On January 19, 2004, the full impact of Gore’s endorsement was realized when Dean came in third at the Iowa caucus, effectively tanking his campaign.
Howard Dean also gets the Right Minded Name-that-State Award for his meltdown following the Iowa caucus, during which the former Vermont governor raged “Not only are we going to take New Hampshire, we’re going to South Carolina and Arizona and North Dakota and New Mexico and Oregon and Washington and Michigan! And then we’re going to Washington D.C. to take back the White House! AHHHHH! We will not give up! We will not give up in New Hampshire! We will not give up in South Carolina! We will not give up in Arizona or New Mexico, Oklahoma, North Dakota, Delaware, Pennsylvania, Ohio, Michigan! We will not quit now or ever! We’ll earn our country back for ordinary Americans! And we’re going to win in Massachusetts! And North Carolina! And Missouri! And Arkansas! And Connecticut! And New York! And Ohio!”
The Right Minded Armchair Quarterback Award gets handed off to John F. Kerry for his endless critiques of George W. Bush’s national defense strategery. Of course, Senator Kerry was generous in sharing how he would have handled the War on Terrorism differently, but only after the outcomes were known. Great hindsight.
And now for the Right Minded Wizard of Oz Awards:
The Scarecrow Award goes to Dan Rather for mindlessly using forged documents to levy an AWOL charge against President Bush in his National Guard days. The disgraced and soon-to-be former anchor of CBS News, who credits himself with taking down Richard Nixon thirty years ago, himself became an embittered shadow of Nixon while shedding any pretense of objectivity.
The Tin Man Award goes to John Edwards for his statement on October 11 that “We will stop juvenile diabetes, Parkinson’s, Alzheimer’s and other debilitating diseases…. When John Kerry is president, people like Christopher Reeve are going get up out of that wheelchair and walk again.” Indeed, giving disabled or otherwise incurably diseased Americans the false hope that a John Kerry presidency would see them healed or cured was cold and heartless.
The Cowardly Lion Award goes to the House GOP for voting to delay the Tennessee Tax Structure Study Commission’s reporting deadline until after Election Day. The income-taxers don’t take “No!” for an answer, and they will never give up. It takes guts to beat these guys back every time they come for our paychecks, and the House GOP couldn’t muster one single vote to make the commission’s report public in time for the campaign season.
Meanwhile, the Right Minded Superhero Award provided a difficult choice this year. In the end, George W. Bush narrowly beat out two healers, John F. Kerry and Benny Hinn. President Bush is this year’s top superhero for causing a string of four hurricanes to hit Florida. Hey, if the left can attribute these powers to a man it otherwise portrays as feeble and incompetent, it must be true.
The Right Minded Comeback Award goes to the Boston Red Sox. The Red Sox, down three games to none against the New York Yankees, came from behind to beat the Yankees in Game 4 of the American League Championship Series, then won the final three games to become the first team in major league baseball history to win a best-of-seven series after losing the first three games.
The ignominious Don Sundquist RINO Award is shared by State Senators Tim Burchett and Curtis Person for pledging their help to retain John Wilder as Speaker of the Senate, even though the GOP has gained majority status. These guys are definitely Republicans-in-Name-Only.
Given that various Women-of-the-Year are famous actresses, politicians, athletes, executives, and working mothers who are praised for their ability to juggle work and family, the 2004 Right Minded Woman-of-the-Year is every stay-at-home mom. These are women who have elevated their families above money and career status, and somebody ought to give them public recognition for doing so. I’ll gladly be the one to do it.
Finally, the prestigious Right Minded Conservative of the Year, for the second consecutive year, is George W. Bush. Despite the formidable opposition to his reelection provided by Kerry/Edwards and the DNC, the 527’s, Dan Rather and the mainstream press, Michael Moore and Hollywood, Bush became the first presidential candidate in 16 years to capture a majority of the popular vote. He won re-election simply by being a conservative. It works every time.




